HW 59 - SOF Prom 2011 & DSPs

        I did not go to prom. Mostly because it was not my prom. Partly because it was a thursday night and I was tired. I certainly would have attended if it was my prom. From what I heard it was a lot of fun. My friend from another school mentioned that she had a terrible experience at her prom. And that teachers were having more fun than students. I think that her experience demonstrates the negative parts of prom. She spent lots of money on cloths and spent hours preparing for an event she thought was going to be for her and her friends. 

Someone who attended the SOF prom described the after party ware there were no speakers and everyone pitched in a few dollars and they were able to buy speakers. This demonstrated unity that I liked. To me the purpose of prom is to spend time with and bond with the people you have been working with for 4 plus years. I hope next year I have a similar experience.

I do look forward to prom. I can only expect that it will be a mixture of the bad and the good. From the experiences I have heard about I think I will show up in a dress I already have and try to have a good time with everyone I know.

HW 58 - Prom Interviews

I interviewed five people on the topic of prom. The questions I asked were extremely different for each person. I did this because I know all of the interviewees very well so I know what questions would get a better response from who. I interviewed three family members and two friends. The three family members included my father, my mother and my grandpa. Only my mother had attended a high school prom out of the family interviews so her interview is longer then my grandfathers and my fathers. My friends included a senior who had just attended a disaster of a prom and my friend Sigal who is a 10th grader who has yet to attend a prom.

Dad:

My dad had never been to his own prom. He recalls possibly going to a girlfriend prom but he is not positive. His lack of memory possibly reflects the popular practice of drinking until you cant remember anything. Because of his ether lack of experience or lack of memory on the topic, we mostly discussed his opinions on the ceremonies. He stated that he believes that prom is just a party. He said that in the movies people look at it as a way of making fun of people. He did say that he liked the idea of partying for the last time with your class mates but he does think it can be over done. 

Sigal (10th grade girl):

Sigal had not put much thought into the matter prior to the interview. When I asked weather she would go to prom she said that she would if she gets asked. I thought this represented the typical view from many girls. Why is it that women are afraid to ask out men? When I asked her if she would be willing to ask a boy, she would be willing to ask a boy to prom but it is not typical. From this answer I figured out that she has the same feelings as many other people with regards to prom and date finding. Personally I would be willing to ask a guy to prom. It seems that Sigal has conflicting feelings on the matter. We then discussed how she thinks the media has effected her perception of prom. She states, "the media has made prom into a fantasy instead of reality. It is not always a perfect night, for some it is just a overly expensive party."

Mom:
My mothers only prom experience was not with her own school. It was with a friend of her brothers and it was a blind date. She recalls awkwardness as her date expressed anger towards the fact that she had gotten her prom dress from a thrift store. She particularly enjoyed getting ready for the prom but the actual party was a disappointment for her. I think this was because proms are looked at as good by party's and she did not know anyone there and her date was annoying her. She said she enjoyed getting flowers and a wrist corsage but she regrets going on a blind date. When i asked her what she would change about the American ways of prom she said that she would like to see kids go with large groups of friends instead of just with a date. She points out that it can make people feel bad who don't have dates. 

Emi (senior from non sof high school)

Did you go to your prom?

Yes I did. I went to my prom took a 23 year-old named ben. We showed up an hour and a half late. It was not late enough. It felt really uncomfortable. Until an other hour went by an people started arriving. 

DId you go to any after parties?

Yes but i did not stay out too late it was so awkward I had to keep apologizing to My date.

What social norms did you observe?

My school tried its best to abandon all of the social norms involving good clean fun. All of my teachers were doing cocaine in the bathroom. the two gay, one male and one female teachers start making out. Even though this made prom interesting, people were a little bothered by the teachers taking the attention away from their prom. Also everyone, teachers and students alike, were smoking cigarettes.

My friend never highlighted any social norms and seemed to have a completely bad time. With this interview I decided to keep it as is and not summarize it because just about everything she said was interesting. The concept of teachers taking over prom is truly bothersome to me. All justifications I have heard about prom have been saying that prom is a chance for the kids to say good by to each other. This was not the case for my friend. The teachers stole the show. I would be pretty angry if teachers started behaving this way at prom. Maybe its a double standard but I would understand if students acted this way its their time to have fun.

HW 57 - Initial Thoughts on Prom

  I know that there are people who think prom is a nightmarish industrial atrocity. I don't know much about that opinion but I am curious to learn more about those opinions. At this point I look at prom as the last chance for a grade to say good by in a social setting where the social life of the school is reflected more than the academic part. I remember watching a commercial for an MTV special on prom ware a girl said, "Graduation is for our parents, Prom is for us." I have conflicting feelings about this statement. As I mentioned before, prom is looked at as a way to celebrate growing up with out adults (except there are chaperones). And I understand that desire to feel independent and celebrate getting out of high school. My only problem with this is that in the statement, "graduation is for our parents but prom is for us" the girl is saying that she doesn't value the academics represented in gradation. Wouldn't an adult version of us be more proud of our academic achievements demonstrated in our graduation ceremony then our social achievements demonstrated in prom? Perhaps there is something in-between. Maybe the right of passage is not into adulthood but somewhere in-between. A faze of life ware we are expected to be mature enough to get by but not love our academic achievements. For many teens, girls in particular, prom is a way of demonstrating there financial maturity, as they save up for their one lavish night.

  According to USA today prom can cost from $400 to $3,000. I have a friend who spent $2000 on shoes alone. So that runs the over all cost of her prom to probably $5000. I have heard countless stories of girls saving up for an entire year for a fancy dress and shoes and the ticket in alone. I am trying to not sound cliche but its because of the influences of the media. More specifically media triggered towards kids our age. That ended up being a cliche. Woops. Anyways, teens desires to feel and look like the celebrities portrayed in the media is completely understandable. We are surrounded with it so why would we not morph into. That is the only justification I can come up with surrounding the financial part of prom. As for me, I have a year until I need to deal with it. I must admit I like the idea of being treated like a celebrity and partying with my friends for an entire day. Who wouldn't? I am probably going to use cloths I already have simply out of stinginess not as an attempt of making some sort of statement. One other idea I have considered is taking advantage of this odd practice and applying for a scholarship ware you make a prom dress out of duct tape.

  When I was about 11 I was at summer camp discussing prom with some of the counselors who would have been my current age. One was saying how she wanted to have an anti-prom party and the other girl agreed with her reason but pointed out that she could make money off of the tradition they were both dreading blowing all of their money on by applying for a duct tape prom dress computation. I have done a little research on this and concluded that it is real. They pay girls to make prom dresses out of tape. At first I loved this idea. I thought duct tape could not cost that much. Its tape but I was wrong. My long time dreams of creating a dress of duct tape were crushed by the fact that duct tape coasts $5 a role so that puts the over all coast of the dress at $200 dollars. I think if someone is going to go to prom and spend tuns of money on a dress with the goal of being as unique as possible, they shooed do it in a way where there is a chance where it could make them money. 

Questions:

What ways are there to save money and still go to prom?

What physiologically drives parents and teachers to wish teens around them to follow in their foot steps even if they are not close to them? Particularly with prom.

What is the teacher and parent influence on the prom?

Why don't people just have their one party's and not charge up to $200?

sophia (protege) said...

from sophia age 12
i think the when i die i want to be creamated and my loved ones to save the ashes, i dont want to be in a funeral because that is to sad. thank you
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny,

You wrote about how funeral workers tend to stretch the truth to convince people to do things there way. The lie you focussed on was that embalming can stop the spread of disease. Hearing this was a little infuriating.

"Funeral industry members like to "stretch the truth" in order to make there clients happy by giving the body the best funeral possible as well as giving the body the appearance that it is just sleeping instead of wasting away."


This reminded me of the way typical birthing wards went about telling women in labor that cesarian sections are the best thing for there baby's.

Great post!
http://johnnynormaliswierd.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html

Extra Credit Opportunities - COTD

xc -COTD1 cemeteries

The cemeteries I looked at were both Episcopal and extremely old. Majority of the graves were dated in the seventeen hundreds. The only people who walked through the cemeteries were tourists or people having picnics. 

The first one was in the wall street aria. It surrounded a church and had lots of trees around it. I liked how it was preserved and well kept even though everyone buried there has been dead sense the seventeen hundreds. It did bring up the question to me of weather it is necessary to preserve the memory of people who no one who is currently alive has any connection to considering that there is not enough surface aria on the earth to have a grave stone over every body that has ever been buried.

The second one was in the east village, also surrounding a church. There were less grave stones and the few that were left laid flat on the ground. It seemed less preserved then the other one. They did try to leave the feeling that it was once a seminary. 

If i would have had the opportunity to see a newer cemetery  there would probably be a completely different feeling. There would not be tourists out to see the historic churches. There would be a sadder feeling. 

Poems:

POEM#1  After A Death

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16788

Tranströmer , Tomas. "After a Death." Poets.org. N.p., 2004. Web. 12 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16788>.

This poem uses metaphor to describe the feeling after someone you love dies. It also seems to describe the typical cycle of grieving. The first paragraph created a devastated feeling. The third paragraph  describes the act of getting over death. The last part describes a "shadow" represents the soul. 

Poem #2 A Death Song

Morris, William. "A Death Song." n. pag. Famous Poems. Web. 17 May 2011. <http://www.famous-poems.biz/William_Morris/A-Death-Song-poems-and-poetry-by-William-Morris.html>.

http://www.famous-poems.biz/Dylan_Thomas/All-That-I-Owe-The-Fellows-Of-The-Grave-by-Dylan-Thomas.html

This poem uses repetition at the end of every paragraph. It has the line "But one and all if they would dusk the day." By putting this at the end of every paragraph the author adds a feeling of darkness. The poem seems to just represent the end of bright things as a metaphor for the end of a human life.

Poem #3 Death, Is All

Ana, Božičević. "Death, Is All." Poets.org (2010): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 17 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21911>.

This poem reminds me of the stream of conciseness because it demonstrates the authors thought process. It shows her saying bold things about death and then saying she agrees or not. She says "fifty present of americans believe in angeles and why should they not?" I like this quote because it feels less formal than the other ones.

Poem #4 Abortion Poems

Anstey, Billy. "A Fathers Pain." Family Friend Poems n. pag. Family friend poems. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/death/poetry.asp?poem=36673>.

This poem is written from the perspective of a man who's potential baby's mother, got an abortion and did not tell him until forty years later. This really bothered him. He discusses how much he hates her for killing both him and the unborn baby. To me it seems unfair for a man to hate a woman for doing something that was best for her life. This poem got on my nerves a little but it provides an alternative perspective to my own on the morality of my own.

Poem #5 Death in the Afternoon

Gonzales, Angel . "Death in the Afternoon." Poets.org n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16957>.

This poem also uses shadows to describe death and dead people. It starts out describing how some deaths bother the author more than others. It goes on using metaphor to describe finding stability even during  time of mourning. This poem can help understand the authors perspective of death simply in that he believes in hauntings. 

Poem #6 About Death and Other Things

Ristovic, Aleksandar. "About Death and Other Things." Poets.org (2010): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21594>.

This poem describes the authors relationship with death. It talks about how he first thought about death as a child. He also discusses how he wants to kill someone. It is difficult to tell weather he is talking about him killing someone or someone dyeing. Perhaps the blurring of the plot is the authors way of saying that death happens to everyone no matter what causes it.

Poem #7 Undead

ilovezackyvengeance, (un-published online poem with no author except some sort of user-name). "Undead." poem mibba n. pag. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://poem.mibba.com/242168/Undead>.

I can only assume from this poem that the author was contemplating suicide. It talks about how someone is in so much misery she may as well be dead. The reason I picked this poem is partly because it is anonymous. This means that the author may have been using poetry to discuss his or her own feelings. It is a honest demonstration of what someone thinks of death.

Poem #8 A Refusal to Mourn the Death, By Fire, in London

Thomas, Dylan. "A Refusal to Mourn The Death, by Fire, of a Child in London." Poets.org (1952): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15381>.

This poem discusses the authors feeling about a child's death. It is written in the point of view of someone who feels that they should not mourn because it would somehow shame or kill the child. This poem demonstrates the stage of denial of mourning. 

Poem #9 Dead Brother Supper Hero

Dickman, Michael. "Dead Brother Supper Hero ." Poets.org (2010): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21797>.

This is about a dead boy who is missed by the protagonist. The protagonist discusses how he feels like he is with him and how he still waits for his little brother to storm into his room in his supper hero cape. The poem also describes how his brother is looking at him through the clouds. This poem demonstrates how people rely on the concept of heaven to mourn. 

Poem #10 Dead Fires

Faust, Jessy. "Dead Fires." Poets.org n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19689>.

This poem contemplates weather living in agony is better then death. It talks about how people can be put to emotional death through pain. This is a short poem but it does bring up a good point. 

Harold and Maude:

This movie is about a strange young man who has an obsession with death. He loves to pretend to kill himself. He does it numerous times through out the movie. It was shocking the first time you see Harold pretend but eventually it just becomes funny as it torments his mother. He also loves to go to funerals as a hobby. The happiness of the character seems dictated by two women. His mother and Maude.

His mother puts pressure on him to be what she believes to be normal while she her self is abnormal. She is constantly trying to fix her son who has nothing wrong with him. His only issue is his hatred for his mother. Which is not necessarily his issue. It is hers. I think that the mother is symbolic of what the directer thinks of the typical feelings toads death in our culture. She is bothered by her sons openness and interest in the topic. 

Harold meets Maude at a funeral. He is at first weirded out by her but eventually he falls in love with her. Maude could be representative of a rebel. Particularly toads our cultures views of death. She says many things relating to the circle of life. She looks at death as something to be celebrated as much as life. After Harold announces to his family that he will marry maude, His mother freaks out and sets him up on many blind dates. But maude imbrues death so much that she happily overdoses on sleeping pills and kills her self. Some how the director makes this the happiest part of the whole movie. Maude changed Harold into a happy person by being happy about death which was his fear.

HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L3bBby-Vb8

For this project I interviewed people I know and tried to figure out how they want their loved ones to care for their bodies after death. All of the people I interviewed discussed cremation and all of the questions I asked were versions of questions asked in the typical brochure on planned death. The one that I chose to use as a model for inquiring this information was called Dignity. The link above shows what I believe to be the best of 3 of the four people I interviewed. The first person I interviewed was a girl my age who I did not have the option to record her voice for the video.

Interview with friend, A:

My friend, A, decided to be anonymous. She also did not want a video taken because she insecure about being in front of the camera. 

I asked:

Do you know what cemetery you want to be buried in? She responded, "No, I want to  be spread somewhere after being cremated"

I asked if she wanted some sort of ceremony, she said, "I would like to have a wake, or something but then i want a party for people to enjoy themselves. My life is not boring so why should my funeral?"

That was the only actual piece of information i got from her. I did this so I would have something to compare my older relatives responses. 

Interview with (B):

For this part I modeled the questions after at pamphlet I obtained from a memorial service institution run by our guest speaker from the company called Dignity. Many of the questions are very personal things such as social security number and phone number which I found it unnecessary to include in the project.

Question #1:

What memorial park/ cemetery do you prefer?

No

Question #2:

Do you what to be embalmed? No I would like to be cremated.

Question #3:

If you want to be cremated, What type of disposition? Burial niche scattering garden Cremation garden or any other?

I would like to be spread at sea. It sounds like it takes up less space and use less materials.

Question #4:

Would you like some sort of plaque? If so what would you want to say in it?

No.

Question #5

Would you like any specific items to be placed with the remains? 

No.

This interview was with one of my uncles who is relatively younger. He seemed to be really decisive about what he wants. He also was watching a movie while i was asking him these questions which lead him being less interested. When compared to my friend who is my age he gave way more concrete answers. This according to the guest speaker means that his family will have less to deal with and an easier time mourning. This part of the funeral home typical practices I enjoy. If people care about there funerals and what happens after they die it takes that little stress off of their family's when they die. For B, he did not have a specific location picked out but he gave a general idea.
Interview with C:

               C also indicated that she thinks cremation will be best option for her.

Question #1:

It doesn't matter.

Question #2:

Would you like to be cremated or buried?

Cremated because I don't want to be trapped underground.

Question #3:

If cremated what type of disposition? Burial, Scattering?

I would like to be spread in a forest some ware near the town I grew up in. 

Question #4:

Would you like some sort of plaque? If so what would you want to say in it?

No.

Question #5:

Would you like some sort of things placed with your remains?

no.

It is surprise  to me how the people in the interview including C all said that they did not want any sort of plaque to be remembured by. What is the reason for this? Plaques are not particularly harm full, compared to other things.
Interview with D: 
Do you know the location you would like to be buried or placed?
Not particularly

Question #2
Would you like to be cremated or buried?
I would like to be cremated.

Question #3
If cremated how would you like to go about disposition?
I would like to be spread out in random places across Sicily. I think that would be a great experience for me and for who ever does spreading. I suppose I should start saving up for this. (jokingly)
Question #4
Would you like to have some sort of plaque?
No I am a pretty simple person. I don't need anything special. I don't want any memorials. (says the girl who wants to be spread around Sicily.)

Over All Analysis:


I also spoke to two other relatives, one said

HW 53 - Independent Research A

presses and analysis of nyt articles

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/15/nyregion/in-funeral-industry-womens-presence-grows.html?scp=4&sq=embalming&st=cse

Lisa dozier first saw a dead person at her uncles funeral. She notes that she felt he looked peaceful and she wanted to assist other dead people in looking peaceful. Mis Dozier made a carrier of this desire and made her own funeral service. Her story is reflective of the shift in the formerly predominantly male industry. This industry has shifted seance the 1970s when a women named Dottie Hector began her training and started an organization called 100 Black Women of Funeral Service. Only approximately 15% of funeral school students in the USA were women in 1976 and now there are are slightly more women than men in funeral school. This surge in the education does not match the amount  of current funeral home owners. as of January of this year 14% of funeral home owners are women. This is because many families have been with the same funeral service for generations. It is a challenge for women to overcome this but Lisa Dozier has overcome this challenge.

Analysis:

 The article discusses a woman's attraction to the funeral industry. It discusses how she wants to fix the dead. This part seemed extremely odd to me. She talks about how she knows how to put makeup on dead people so she was an acceptable person for the job. This reflects our obsession with concealing the dead. For some reason it annoys me how she states, “A man would not know that you don’t put red lipstick on a 90-year-old woman,” Ms. Dozier said. “A man would not necessarily know that the tag of a wig goes in the back.” Not only did this point out a pretty disgusting aspect of our cultures ways of dealing with the dead but the woman is saying she thinks women are better at this strange part. 


-