sophia (protege) said...

from sophia age 12
i think the when i die i want to be creamated and my loved ones to save the ashes, i dont want to be in a funeral because that is to sad. thank you
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Johnny,

You wrote about how funeral workers tend to stretch the truth to convince people to do things there way. The lie you focussed on was that embalming can stop the spread of disease. Hearing this was a little infuriating.

"Funeral industry members like to "stretch the truth" in order to make there clients happy by giving the body the best funeral possible as well as giving the body the appearance that it is just sleeping instead of wasting away."


This reminded me of the way typical birthing wards went about telling women in labor that cesarian sections are the best thing for there baby's.

Great post!
http://johnnynormaliswierd.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html

Extra Credit Opportunities - COTD

xc -COTD1 cemeteries

The cemeteries I looked at were both Episcopal and extremely old. Majority of the graves were dated in the seventeen hundreds. The only people who walked through the cemeteries were tourists or people having picnics. 

The first one was in the wall street aria. It surrounded a church and had lots of trees around it. I liked how it was preserved and well kept even though everyone buried there has been dead sense the seventeen hundreds. It did bring up the question to me of weather it is necessary to preserve the memory of people who no one who is currently alive has any connection to considering that there is not enough surface aria on the earth to have a grave stone over every body that has ever been buried.

The second one was in the east village, also surrounding a church. There were less grave stones and the few that were left laid flat on the ground. It seemed less preserved then the other one. They did try to leave the feeling that it was once a seminary. 

If i would have had the opportunity to see a newer cemetery  there would probably be a completely different feeling. There would not be tourists out to see the historic churches. There would be a sadder feeling. 

Poems:

POEM#1  After A Death

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16788

Tranströmer , Tomas. "After a Death." Poets.org. N.p., 2004. Web. 12 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16788>.

This poem uses metaphor to describe the feeling after someone you love dies. It also seems to describe the typical cycle of grieving. The first paragraph created a devastated feeling. The third paragraph  describes the act of getting over death. The last part describes a "shadow" represents the soul. 

Poem #2 A Death Song

Morris, William. "A Death Song." n. pag. Famous Poems. Web. 17 May 2011. <http://www.famous-poems.biz/William_Morris/A-Death-Song-poems-and-poetry-by-William-Morris.html>.

http://www.famous-poems.biz/Dylan_Thomas/All-That-I-Owe-The-Fellows-Of-The-Grave-by-Dylan-Thomas.html

This poem uses repetition at the end of every paragraph. It has the line "But one and all if they would dusk the day." By putting this at the end of every paragraph the author adds a feeling of darkness. The poem seems to just represent the end of bright things as a metaphor for the end of a human life.

Poem #3 Death, Is All

Ana, Božičević. "Death, Is All." Poets.org (2010): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 17 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21911>.

This poem reminds me of the stream of conciseness because it demonstrates the authors thought process. It shows her saying bold things about death and then saying she agrees or not. She says "fifty present of americans believe in angeles and why should they not?" I like this quote because it feels less formal than the other ones.

Poem #4 Abortion Poems

Anstey, Billy. "A Fathers Pain." Family Friend Poems n. pag. Family friend poems. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/death/poetry.asp?poem=36673>.

This poem is written from the perspective of a man who's potential baby's mother, got an abortion and did not tell him until forty years later. This really bothered him. He discusses how much he hates her for killing both him and the unborn baby. To me it seems unfair for a man to hate a woman for doing something that was best for her life. This poem got on my nerves a little but it provides an alternative perspective to my own on the morality of my own.

Poem #5 Death in the Afternoon

Gonzales, Angel . "Death in the Afternoon." Poets.org n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16957>.

This poem also uses shadows to describe death and dead people. It starts out describing how some deaths bother the author more than others. It goes on using metaphor to describe finding stability even during  time of mourning. This poem can help understand the authors perspective of death simply in that he believes in hauntings. 

Poem #6 About Death and Other Things

Ristovic, Aleksandar. "About Death and Other Things." Poets.org (2010): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21594>.

This poem describes the authors relationship with death. It talks about how he first thought about death as a child. He also discusses how he wants to kill someone. It is difficult to tell weather he is talking about him killing someone or someone dyeing. Perhaps the blurring of the plot is the authors way of saying that death happens to everyone no matter what causes it.

Poem #7 Undead

ilovezackyvengeance, (un-published online poem with no author except some sort of user-name). "Undead." poem mibba n. pag. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://poem.mibba.com/242168/Undead>.

I can only assume from this poem that the author was contemplating suicide. It talks about how someone is in so much misery she may as well be dead. The reason I picked this poem is partly because it is anonymous. This means that the author may have been using poetry to discuss his or her own feelings. It is a honest demonstration of what someone thinks of death.

Poem #8 A Refusal to Mourn the Death, By Fire, in London

Thomas, Dylan. "A Refusal to Mourn The Death, by Fire, of a Child in London." Poets.org (1952): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15381>.

This poem discusses the authors feeling about a child's death. It is written in the point of view of someone who feels that they should not mourn because it would somehow shame or kill the child. This poem demonstrates the stage of denial of mourning. 

Poem #9 Dead Brother Supper Hero

Dickman, Michael. "Dead Brother Supper Hero ." Poets.org (2010): n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21797>.

This is about a dead boy who is missed by the protagonist. The protagonist discusses how he feels like he is with him and how he still waits for his little brother to storm into his room in his supper hero cape. The poem also describes how his brother is looking at him through the clouds. This poem demonstrates how people rely on the concept of heaven to mourn. 

Poem #10 Dead Fires

Faust, Jessy. "Dead Fires." Poets.org n. pag. poets.org. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19689>.

This poem contemplates weather living in agony is better then death. It talks about how people can be put to emotional death through pain. This is a short poem but it does bring up a good point. 

Harold and Maude:

This movie is about a strange young man who has an obsession with death. He loves to pretend to kill himself. He does it numerous times through out the movie. It was shocking the first time you see Harold pretend but eventually it just becomes funny as it torments his mother. He also loves to go to funerals as a hobby. The happiness of the character seems dictated by two women. His mother and Maude.

His mother puts pressure on him to be what she believes to be normal while she her self is abnormal. She is constantly trying to fix her son who has nothing wrong with him. His only issue is his hatred for his mother. Which is not necessarily his issue. It is hers. I think that the mother is symbolic of what the directer thinks of the typical feelings toads death in our culture. She is bothered by her sons openness and interest in the topic. 

Harold meets Maude at a funeral. He is at first weirded out by her but eventually he falls in love with her. Maude could be representative of a rebel. Particularly toads our cultures views of death. She says many things relating to the circle of life. She looks at death as something to be celebrated as much as life. After Harold announces to his family that he will marry maude, His mother freaks out and sets him up on many blind dates. But maude imbrues death so much that she happily overdoses on sleeping pills and kills her self. Some how the director makes this the happiest part of the whole movie. Maude changed Harold into a happy person by being happy about death which was his fear.

HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L3bBby-Vb8

For this project I interviewed people I know and tried to figure out how they want their loved ones to care for their bodies after death. All of the people I interviewed discussed cremation and all of the questions I asked were versions of questions asked in the typical brochure on planned death. The one that I chose to use as a model for inquiring this information was called Dignity. The link above shows what I believe to be the best of 3 of the four people I interviewed. The first person I interviewed was a girl my age who I did not have the option to record her voice for the video.

Interview with friend, A:

My friend, A, decided to be anonymous. She also did not want a video taken because she insecure about being in front of the camera. 

I asked:

Do you know what cemetery you want to be buried in? She responded, "No, I want to  be spread somewhere after being cremated"

I asked if she wanted some sort of ceremony, she said, "I would like to have a wake, or something but then i want a party for people to enjoy themselves. My life is not boring so why should my funeral?"

That was the only actual piece of information i got from her. I did this so I would have something to compare my older relatives responses. 

Interview with (B):

For this part I modeled the questions after at pamphlet I obtained from a memorial service institution run by our guest speaker from the company called Dignity. Many of the questions are very personal things such as social security number and phone number which I found it unnecessary to include in the project.

Question #1:

What memorial park/ cemetery do you prefer?

No

Question #2:

Do you what to be embalmed? No I would like to be cremated.

Question #3:

If you want to be cremated, What type of disposition? Burial niche scattering garden Cremation garden or any other?

I would like to be spread at sea. It sounds like it takes up less space and use less materials.

Question #4:

Would you like some sort of plaque? If so what would you want to say in it?

No.

Question #5

Would you like any specific items to be placed with the remains? 

No.

This interview was with one of my uncles who is relatively younger. He seemed to be really decisive about what he wants. He also was watching a movie while i was asking him these questions which lead him being less interested. When compared to my friend who is my age he gave way more concrete answers. This according to the guest speaker means that his family will have less to deal with and an easier time mourning. This part of the funeral home typical practices I enjoy. If people care about there funerals and what happens after they die it takes that little stress off of their family's when they die. For B, he did not have a specific location picked out but he gave a general idea.
Interview with C:

               C also indicated that she thinks cremation will be best option for her.

Question #1:

It doesn't matter.

Question #2:

Would you like to be cremated or buried?

Cremated because I don't want to be trapped underground.

Question #3:

If cremated what type of disposition? Burial, Scattering?

I would like to be spread in a forest some ware near the town I grew up in. 

Question #4:

Would you like some sort of plaque? If so what would you want to say in it?

No.

Question #5:

Would you like some sort of things placed with your remains?

no.

It is surprise  to me how the people in the interview including C all said that they did not want any sort of plaque to be remembured by. What is the reason for this? Plaques are not particularly harm full, compared to other things.
Interview with D: 
Do you know the location you would like to be buried or placed?
Not particularly

Question #2
Would you like to be cremated or buried?
I would like to be cremated.

Question #3
If cremated how would you like to go about disposition?
I would like to be spread out in random places across Sicily. I think that would be a great experience for me and for who ever does spreading. I suppose I should start saving up for this. (jokingly)
Question #4
Would you like to have some sort of plaque?
No I am a pretty simple person. I don't need anything special. I don't want any memorials. (says the girl who wants to be spread around Sicily.)

Over All Analysis:


I also spoke to two other relatives, one said

HW 53 - Independent Research A

presses and analysis of nyt articles

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/15/nyregion/in-funeral-industry-womens-presence-grows.html?scp=4&sq=embalming&st=cse

Lisa dozier first saw a dead person at her uncles funeral. She notes that she felt he looked peaceful and she wanted to assist other dead people in looking peaceful. Mis Dozier made a carrier of this desire and made her own funeral service. Her story is reflective of the shift in the formerly predominantly male industry. This industry has shifted seance the 1970s when a women named Dottie Hector began her training and started an organization called 100 Black Women of Funeral Service. Only approximately 15% of funeral school students in the USA were women in 1976 and now there are are slightly more women than men in funeral school. This surge in the education does not match the amount  of current funeral home owners. as of January of this year 14% of funeral home owners are women. This is because many families have been with the same funeral service for generations. It is a challenge for women to overcome this but Lisa Dozier has overcome this challenge.

Analysis:

 The article discusses a woman's attraction to the funeral industry. It discusses how she wants to fix the dead. This part seemed extremely odd to me. She talks about how she knows how to put makeup on dead people so she was an acceptable person for the job. This reflects our obsession with concealing the dead. For some reason it annoys me how she states, “A man would not know that you don’t put red lipstick on a 90-year-old woman,” Ms. Dozier said. “A man would not necessarily know that the tag of a wig goes in the back.” Not only did this point out a pretty disgusting aspect of our cultures ways of dealing with the dead but the woman is saying she thinks women are better at this strange part. 


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HW 52 - Third Third of the COTD Book

Precies:

As means of progressing into a greener world it may be helpful to look back in to some practices a eighty eight year old man recalls doing in the early parts of the last century. He reminisces about using a plain pine box as a casket for his grandmothers funeral. This practice of using a simple pine box is far more eco-friendly than the modern traditions of using inbalming fluids and processed wood for caskets. 

Quotes:

"it doesn't take me two minuets to walk down from the house to the little private cemetery where Sharyn is buried. But her body is inert matter; it's not her. But her memory is there, my memory for her is there, and that is the last place we saw each other. For me, it's a comfort to have her close by."

(harris, 243)

HW 51 - Second Third of COTD Book

Harris, Mark. Grave Matters: A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial. New York, NY: Scribner, 2008. 70-123. Print.

Précis:

Many residence along costal regents of the United States chose to spread cremation ashes at sea. This costs thousands of dollars less then typical burials. It costs around $140 after cremation fees (around $1,000) to do a sea burial unless it is done independently. Another way of doing a sea burial is pouring remains into a statement mold and creating a synthetic reef. This causes up to $1,000 but is still considerably less then the typical funeral. Besides cremation there are other means of naturally caring for dead bodies. Some modern families chose to care for dead loved ones the same way Americans did it 100 years a go by doing at home. Traditionally, a corps would be kept out on display for up to 5 days in the mourning families house. This continued until the 19^th century when the funeral industry was born. Now it is illegal in some states (including New York) for people to conduct the traditional home funeral.

Quotes:

            Page 103: “from the chest down she had been covered with a home made quilt and a sprinkling of rose petals. In her hands, crossed at the chest, there lays a single pink rose”

            Page 72: directly after someone buries their father, “I was overcome with this huge, profound feeling of release.”

            Page 118: “The end is certainly sad, but my feeling was also that Mary was freed at last from the body that had been weighing her down and causing her pain for so long”

            Page 118: “Like that bird my daughters painted on the coffin, Mary could now soar away to a better place.”

Analysis:   

The middle section of the book was certainly based on what the writer thought was the more natural and holistic. In the first part of the book he discusses the negative industrial aspects. The tone of his writing switches when he talks about the natural care for dead people. Then in the second third of the book it switches. All the sudden he makes care of the dead seem glamorous and beautiful. He describes the emotional event that families go through when they are left in charge of their dead family member. Although he uses statistical evidence, historical evidence, and personal interviews as means of proving his point, the author still manages to distort the readers emotional reaction to the facts with his ways of describing the work.

I think what happens to the body should be left to the living to select because it can determine how people get over the death of a loved one. The family’s described in these few chapters demonstrate more compassion and approval of the way that their dead loved ones are cared for. The woman mentioned above from page 103 seems to be content and happy. But really she appeases the people who are viewing her. The idea of home funerals seems great because it gives families freedom to morn the way they want to. One thing that really bothered me was that home funerals are illegal in New York State. So many New Yorkers are deprived of the ability to morn in the way that they want to for there loved ones. I have decided to do further research on this law for my final death project.

HW 49 - Comments on Best of Your Break HW

For Johnny,
You interviewed two family members with different religious views and analyzed how religion effected their views on death. You also did a great job discussing ho I enjoyed reading about what your grandmother said. You mentioned, "The first thing i noticed about both my interviews is when I asked them what was the first thing that came to there mind they both replied by saying that it is a sad part in everyones life."
I also found it strange that she had an almost identical response to the question, What do you think of when you hear the word death? You would think that an older person would have had a different view on the topic.
To improve this project you could further discuss how religion effects the choice of how to care for the dead. What about the bible makes people chose to not become cremated? What about being underground do you think scares people?
Your work was insightful and I enjoyed reading it.


For Christian,

I like how you chose to ask general questions like "What are some basic views of the Care of The Dead that come to mind? 

This permitted your interviewee to respond in a verity of ways. This proves beneficial because they can answer in any way they chose. But because the interviews were brief i did not get a good understanding of why the interviewee felt that respect for the soul is important or why care for the body is an essential. 

I would recommend making finding the balance between personal questions and general questions. 

For Abdullah,
I enjoyed hearing about your families different beliefs on the matter of death. the question you asked was, What to do with bodies after there is a massive death tole?
You notated that you thought it was suppressing that one of your family members answered with:
“People should look at resolving the crisis instead of looking at moral beliefs and religious beliefs. If you do not have time or the man-power to figure out what everyone that died believed in, you don’t have to do it. Mass burials or even mass cremations should be executed.”
What aspect of that response suppressed you?
Over all your writing and analysis was thoroughly written.

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From mentor (mom)

Sarah, Your blog raises some very interesting concepts about why people may develop different views and possible resentments toward religion in response to rituals for caring for the dead. I would like to know further details from each person you interviewed about their personal beliefs about afterlife. 
I’m curious why your friend was uncomfortable with the topic of caring for the dead and I can’t but wonder if it could possibly be an individuals way of dealing with death in their lives. Some people may have deep emotions about the topic. I had several friends die at a very young age and I was not comfortable talking about death until my mid 40’s.
Your question of “Why do people respect some people more after they die?” is great. It would be valuable to know each persons individual stories on the topic



Sarah,

From Christian,

I thought your post came across important points of view that are developed through a range of variaties, one in particular being the cultural differences in religion and its relation to caring for the dead. From the story and views of your father contrasting with your mothers is a interesting point of view, showing both sides of a "party" and how differently it is dealt with. I also thought your question "...why do people respect people more after they die?" is a interesting norm that I also wish to understand, from this I would like to hear your thoughts on maybe why?

From protege


i thought that your blog raised very thoughtful point is changed the way i felt about death usually i think that you come back to earth as a goast after your are done with heaven.

thank you great post
sophia