HW 23 - Illness & Dying Book, Part 2

Jamaica has grown to resent her obligation to care for her brother. She encounters a doctor who tells her that her brother's life will be extended if he has access to certain medicine. This medication is not accessible for him in Antigua. She has a doctor friend from the united states send the procreation to her. She likes that she is able to help her brother but contemplates weather it is worth it to spend that much time away from her family. Someone tells her she should take him to the United States for the appropriate medical care. She is angered and offended by this comment. She feels that everyone pays no mind to her emotions. Eventually he dies.

"My brother died. I had expected him to, sometimes it seemed as if it would be a good thing if he were to just die. And then he did die. When he was still alive I used to try although  imagine what it would be like when he was no longer alive, What the world would seem like the moment i knew he was no longer alive. but when that moment came, The moment i knew he was no longer alive, I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to feel" p.87

This feeling is often described as numbness. A friend of mine says that she felt guilty for not feeling sad automatically when she found out about her grandmothers death. My friend and Jamaica are both being faced with guilt. Guilt that is imposed when they see movies that make them think they are supposed to feel sad and fall into tears and have a break down.

"On one side, there is life, and on the other, there is death with a small patch of life attached to it. This latter is the life of AIDS; this was how i saw my brother as he lay in his bed dying." p. 96

Many people would consider this to be pacifistic and morbid. Maybe it is just a truthful way of looking at her brothers. I was so moved by this quote I shared it with my mother. She said, "This sounds like something a person who is afraid of death would." Not all people who are afraid of death would say this. Jamaica Kincaid may be afraid of death. But she just found a wise way to analyze her death.

"I said nothing about the death of my brother, which had actually occurred hours before (though really he had been dead for at least a year before the breath left his body) I had vowed to tell her nothing about and his illness and now his death"

I will be honest what initially drew me into this quote was the fact that it had the name of the unit in it "Illness and Dyeing" Besides the name of the unit the quote contains evidence of conflicting feelings. She says her brother had died a year before that but does that mean that he had died in the eyes of her family? Had he died to the doctors taking care of him? Had he died to her? Has he died to the whole world?

HW 21 - Expert #1

--Men are less likely to receive medical attention.

--Last years of marriage were the best

--“honeymoon from death”

--Acceptance instead of numbness sadness

Honeymoon from death:

The fact was brought up by our guest speaker that her husband had a honeymoon from death. This means that he felt better for a while. After a while his health plummeted. I just thought about how terrible that aspect of it must have felt. When my great grandfather was dyeing of old age, when i was about 9, I remember my grandmother calling and saying, “He is better, I think I am going to take him to see you this summer!” then all of her hope for her father rapidly withered away with in 2 days. He began to turn yellow. Then with in 12 hours he died. The emotional agony of the “honeymoon from death” can be blamed on our desire for miraculous recovery portrayed in movies. The guest speaker showed more wisdom on the topic. She was said she was never under the impression that her husband was going to live. She saved her self from the emotional trauma.

The guest speaker discussed how the last months of her marriage were the best. She said how she had never been able to spend that much time with him. That goes along with the idea “you don’t know what you have until it is gone” So to an extent she was lucky that she knew she would not have him ahead of time. When there relationship is is compared to many other grumpy old people who hate each other. Although the guest speakers family spent less time together they got to enjoy their last few months together.

HW 22 - Illness & Dying Book Part 1

My Brother
by Jamaica Kincaid
The Noonday Press 1997

Precis:

Jamaica Kincaid doesn’t know why but she choose to go to Antigua to visit her brother who was dyeing of AIDS, and leave her family in the US. Her emotions on why she is there sway. The trip is demonstrating her confusing relationship with her mother.

"When I saw my brother again after a long while, he was lying in a bed in the Holberton Hospital, in the O'Reilly ward, and he was said to be dying of AIDS. He was not born in this hospital. Of my mother's four children, he was the one born at home" p.3

It is curious how people always tend to relate the end of someones life to the beginning of someones life. Often authors chose to connect the end of a story to the beginning. I suppose it leads to closure. This seems to be a dominant practice in our culture. When I went to my great grandfathers funeral the first thing that was mentioned was the date of his birth and the location of his birth. I have always wondered if this is an attempt to sum up someones life or if it is just an ice breaker.

"In that dirty room, other people before him had died of that same disease. It is where they put people who are suffering from the virus that causes AIDS. When he was first told that he had tested positive for the virus, he did not tell our mother the truth, he told her he had lung cancer, he told someone els he had bronchial asthma, but he knew my mother knew and anyone els who was interested would know that only people who tested positive for the AIDS virus were places in that room were in isolation." p.23

Jamaica Kincaid seems to be upset about how they isolated her brother. Which brings up an other question about the social norms of illness and dying, Why do hospitals have a separate ward for people  who are terminally ill, even if the percents are not infected with a contagious disease?

"He said that people who are not HIV-positive give up too soon on the people who are, but he tries to keep everybody alive, because you never know when a cure might come along. He said that-- you never knew when a cure might come along-- and i could not tell if, he was asserting native Antiguan foolishness or faith in science." p.35

Jamaica Kincaid was critiquing the way doctors have "faith in science." When someone is terminally ill, was the only reason to keep them in a hospital is to stretch whats left of their life with the hope that there will be a cure to the disease. Jamaica Kincaid seems critical of her family and all Antigenes. 

The way Jamaica Kincaid openly discusses the way it felt to observe her brother die, reminds me of how I believe my grandmother felt when she was observing the death of her brother. My grandmother felt more obligated to spend time with him then Jamaica Kincaid. But I know that it was easer for my grandmother to take care of him then it was for Jamaica Kincaid.

HW 19

When I asked my father what his mother thinks about alternative health care he said, "She is narrow minded. She only believes what Sarah Palin tells her to believe" One time my grandmother came over and had a cold. I asked her if she would like tea. She agreed. I pored her a cup of the only tea we had in the house called "Yogi breathe deep". She said, "Your mother is a which. How could she give you that hippy crap." So her view on health care is essentially that when someone is sick they should just drink an entire boodle of Night Quil and sleep for 12 hours. And if that doesn't work then go to the emergency room. So as my dad grew up he decided to appose everything he ever hurt his mother say. Which I think was, for the most part, a wise decision. 

My parents follow the recommended the allopathic health precautions. They are no ware near as afraid of homeopathic health ideas as my grandmother. My parents get acupuncture when they have health issues. There opinions on what to do when you are not terminally ill but are sick, are similar to mine.

When I asked my dad what he thinks should happen when someone is terminally ill he said, "Let them die in as much comfort as possible." I did not have the opportunity to ask him further details." I remember a few years ago I asked my mother what she thinks is the best way to deal with a terminally ill person. She replied, "to not let the family of that person bend over backwards and do what is needed to maintain there families sanity while allowing the person to live comfortably." I suppose they both are good. I think my opinions on the topic of illness and dieting will remain some ware in-between what my parents think.